Warm Fuzzies

I've been in slumpville for the past week, trying desperately to fight off a nasty fall cold. Everyone warned me that I would be getting sick all the time, now that baby girl is in daycare. Needless to say, a large truck ran me over in my sleep a few nights ago, and I've been slowly repairing myself ever since.

I accidently looked at the scale prematurely yesterday and was up 3lbs. Say what?! Clearly I need to get on a program, and fast. My body is too screwed up to do it correctly on it's own. I decided to ignore my feelings of total frustration (oh, did I mention I lost my reception hall for the wedding? gar.) and finished my "101 in 1001" list. Check the new tab on the top of the page! So, in spirit of moving on and moving forward, I did a little "things that make me smile" photo search. Enjoy.

What makes you happy?

I've Got The Magic!!

I've got the magic in me! Seriously, how damn catchy is that song?! I was bouncing all the way to work this morning singing along with the radio. Not only for my deep undying love of Rivers Cuomo (specifically his Buddy-Holly-like appeal and undeniable capability to write unforgettable pop songs) but also because I lost weight this week!!

And not only did I lose weight, but I lost 5 mother-father pounds! Whoot - DOUBLE whoot!

(complete side note - the "mother-father" reference [instead of saying a naughty word, lol] is totally stolen from THIS video for Honda's "Swagger Wagon." Do yourself and your soul a favor and watch it. I've never laughed so hard in my life.)


Anyways, I'm pretty darn excited. How did I do it? Honestly, I don't really know. Well - I do to an extent. I was very careful with what I ate this week. After my debacle with buying my new scale last week, I was determined to see a smaller number. I also tried to be more active, but honestly I didn't improve much in that category. I counted my calories and stuck to it.

I also made (and went to!) an appointment with a dietitian yesterday. She brought up a lot of factors for me to consider (going back on medication, staying with natural supplements/hormones, food program) to help boost my metabolism. For the new readers here that haven't followed me during my Blog To Lose days, my metabolism is basically non-functioning. There are certain ways of eating and exercise programs that can help this - and that's basically what I'm doing now. I'll post more about this next time (my boss is circling like a vulture over roadkill this morning!) but I'm really happy that I took steps in the right direction by seeking out some professional advice.

Until next time, readers and friends! I'm going to celebrate my loss .... but I'm not sure how! Normally I would say  "I'm going out to eat!" But that is clearly Fat Emily talking. Emily's Inner Skinny will not allow that ;)

Tell me:

How do YOU celebrate a loss?

Tune in next time : 101 in 1001 and my Dietitian recap

I've Returned

... and with a VENGEANCE!
thank you for all the lovely comments on my last blog. I took a little hiatus for a week. I didn't even attempt to participate in Fitblog Chat, or my Drop Dead Gorgeous by December challenge either. I was feeling pretty darn defeated, and needed a little time to wallow in it. Of course I'm sure this resulted in a weight gain ... but I've got no one to blame but myself!

In other news - The Fiance took our daughter for the weekend to his parent's house. Which means I had THE WHOLE WEEKEND to myself! It was a-mazing. I missed them both terribly, but it really allowed me to think about what I need to do for myself and if I'm truly committed to losing the weight. Am i? yes. Is it going to be a hard road? I wouldn't have it any other way.

With my new attitude in hand, I've decided to finally post my "before" pictures, along with some other pictures from over the years of my weight fluctuations. This is really hard for me, because I'm trying to move past the whole "holy crap I look like a beached whale" view of myself. Sometimes taking pictures makes that worse. Why is  it that I always look different in the mirror than in pictures? Does anyone else notice that? At any rate - I never want to see 310 again. That was my highest weight and I'm never looking back. I can't wait until a few months from now when I look back at this entry and feel accomplished and proud of the work I've done. okay, Emily, shut your mouth - picture time!

This picture was me at my previous HW (highest weight) ever. 275lbs. I hate hate hate this picture. You cal tell that I was literally bursting out of my size 20 jeans.

 The picture to the right is where I always plateau in my weight loss struggles. This is about 245lbs and where I've spent the majority of my adult life at. I actually like this picture of me, but of course - it's a head shot ;)

My skinniest time to date, at 220lbs. Ironically, this was a time I was never taking pictures of myself. I think at that time I still felt like I hadn't come very far and didn't want my picture taken. I can tell now just by looking at my face/neck that I was quite a bit lighter!


The guy to my left is my brother - one of my very best friends and constant support system!








Okay, now what you've waited for - my pictures from NOW. I'm weighing in around 285lbs these days (something I'm definitely not proud of, but am accepting.) I took these two days ago in my bathroom, so they aren't the BEST quality - but they'll do! *sigh*

I'm immediately regretting this post. But hopefully it will inspire some of you to take pictures. It really does show your progress the best! 

I'm not going to list all the things I hate about myself in these pictures. I'm only focusing on moving forward.

Tell me:

How do you document your progress?

How often do you measure/take pictures?

Tune in next time : 101 goals in 1001 days (Blog Trend!)

New Scale = Old Number

a relaxing weekend

WOW, does anyone else feel like the long weekend went way too fast? I’m definitely enjoying my “big kid” job schedule these days. It’s nice to have a little stability in an otherwise chaotic life! Rain or shine, 8:30-5, I’m there. No nights, no weekends, no holidays. Maybe if I treated working out like a job I would actually do it on a consistent basis? That’s for another time and post ;)

I really enjoyed my weekend. I spent a lot of time with my little family unit; me, the fiancé, and baby girl. There’s nothing like the ego boost you can get from a 3 month old that laughs at the slightest things – even just breathing noisy and she’s thrown into a fit of giggles. I had so much fun, in fact, that I totally unplugged from my digital world! I forgot to twitter, to post, and to check in with my Drop Dead Gorgeous by December updates!


I did find time to finally purchase something I’ve needed for a long time – a reliable scale. I’ve been typically weighing myself on my Wii Fit board every week, but the results are anything but accurate. I have literally weighed myself minutes apart and seen a 3lb fluctuation. Total nonsense! Plus, I can cheat it. Have I ever cheated it, you ask … of COURSE not… let’s just say that if one wanted to cheat they could tell the Wii their clothes weighed 5lbs instead of 2lbs, or maybe weigh on some thick carpet to cushion the results, or maybe weigh their cat (Morrison) instead. Not that I’ve done any one of those things. Or all three.

So I hopped over to my local big-box-superchain-WHYdidIcomeHere?!-store and picked up a HoMedics Digital Scale. Got home, set it on the kitchen floor, and !boom! looked down.

281

WHAT?! I almost had a heart attack right then and there. I’m 10 lbs heavier than I thought I was! Okay, don’t panic. Got off, got on, and .. yup, you guessed it. Same number. I was so frustrated and upset that I’ve let myself foolishly believe that I was losing weight. Clearly, I have to be doing something wrong. I felt like I had made a giant step backwards. I remember weighing this three months ago.

Instead of dwelling on my past mistakes, (like old fat-thinking Emily would have done) I’m going to let it go. There’s no turning back now. I’m officially over the angst of this number, but I acknowledge that it means I have a long way to go. I know this is the last time I will ever be in the 280s. Sayonara, Adios, Ciao!

Tonight is Fitblog, which I’m hoping will propel me to post my next scary blog afterward. The dreaded before pictures. (O_o)

Tell me:

How do you cope with the numbers on the scale?

What do they mean to you?

Should they mean anything to you?

tune in next time: my "before pictures" and looking forward to the "After"

Your "Body Voice"

I might have been a little harsh last post with my dear friend “Food.” It turned out that me and my little family caught a nasty intestinal virus that’s been hitting our city hard this week. Woah, not fun. Time to play a little catch-up!

______

I’m very proud of myself for starting off September on the right foot this year. I’ve been eating all those good-for-you foodies and trying (as in, I’m going to try tonight) to actually plan a week of meals and follow through on it. *SHOCK!* I know, it’s alarming. Seriously though, I know that planning meals is something I must do for myself if I want to be successful in this whole lifestyle change of mine.

On Fitblog last Tuesday we were all chatting about what our #1 piece of advice for losing weight is. Someone, (I think it might have been Rita?) mentioned the following: Start thinking of food in relation to how it makes you feel.

I love this thought, and I feel that it directly ties into one of my “Drop Dead Gorgeous by December” goals: To start viewing food as fuel. As of right now, I’m a total calorie counter. I still need an immense amount of help knowing what an appropriate amount of food to be eating for my goals. Jess has an amazing page to help you understand all the math that goes into adjusting your caloric intake for your fitness plan. At the very basic level, it’s input minus output. Anyways, my point is this: once I start viewing food as fuel and how foods make my body feel, I think I will enter a whole new level of fitness.

 I know we've all been in this position before, time and time again: 

Photo Credit

Double cheeseburger, cupcake, PIZZA = DELISH but also = gross, greasy, bloated feeling.

Hummus & Red peppers, grilled chicken = DELISH and also = great, clean, energized feeling.

Our bodies are smarter than we think. I don’t give mine enough credit, or I just plain ignore it.

I think some of our bodies have been ignored and misused for so long that they’ve stopped talking to us. I can see my “body voice,” just sitting on the couch flipping channels in my brain. “eh, maybe I feel like an apple.. wait, How I Met Your Mother is on.” Or maybe even they’ve been shot down so many times that they’ve started to believe they’re wrong. 

This scenario usually plays out between my "body voice" and me:

       Body voice : "I am so hungry for energy. I neeeeeed some apples and granola, STAT" 
       Me : "Nah. Let's just order pizza. It's so good, remember?"
       Body voice: "Yeah, I guess, but shouldn't we...."
       Me: "SHHHHH, i'm on the phone. Yeah, I'd like to order a large mushroom and pep..."

Yes, I know I’m talking about an imaginary voice-person.

Yes, I still think it’s a valid point. 

I don't think it's to late for me to SHUT UP and listen to the signals my body gives me, and I definitely don't think it's too late for you. Especially this holiday season, I'd like to be able to stand strong with both my mind AND body on my team!

Tell me:

Do you listen to your body’s signals, or do you have to feed it new messages?

Tune in next time : the dreaded “before” pictures / new scale.....