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| a relaxing weekend |
WOW, does anyone else feel like the long weekend went way too fast? I’m definitely enjoying my “big kid” job schedule these days. It’s nice to have a little stability in an otherwise chaotic life! Rain or shine, 8:30-5, I’m there. No nights, no weekends, no holidays. Maybe if I treated working out like a job I would actually do it on a consistent basis? That’s for another time and post ;)
I really enjoyed my weekend. I spent a lot of time with my little family unit; me, the fiancé, and baby girl. There’s nothing like the ego boost you can get from a 3 month old that laughs at the slightest things – even just breathing noisy and she’s thrown into a fit of giggles. I had so much fun, in fact, that I totally unplugged from my digital world! I forgot to twitter, to post, and to check in with my Drop Dead Gorgeous by December updates!
I did find time to finally purchase something I’ve needed for a long time – a reliable scale. I’ve been typically weighing myself on my Wii Fit board every week, but the results are anything but accurate. I have literally weighed myself minutes apart and seen a 3lb fluctuation. Total nonsense! Plus, I can cheat it. Have I ever cheated it, you ask … of COURSE not… let’s just say that if one wanted to cheat they could tell the Wii their clothes weighed 5lbs instead of 2lbs, or maybe weigh on some thick carpet to cushion the results, or maybe weigh their cat (Morrison) instead. Not that I’ve done any one of those things. Or all three.
So I hopped over to my local big-box-superchain-WHYdidIcomeHere?!-store and picked up a HoMedics Digital Scale. Got home, set it on the kitchen floor, and !boom! looked down.
281
WHAT?! I almost had a heart attack right then and there. I’m 10 lbs heavier than I thought I was! Okay, don’t panic. Got off, got on, and .. yup, you guessed it. Same number. I was so frustrated and upset that I’ve let myself foolishly believe that I was losing weight. Clearly, I have to be doing something wrong. I felt like I had made a giant step backwards. I remember weighing this three months ago.
Instead of dwelling on my past mistakes, (like old fat-thinking Emily would have done) I’m going to let it go. There’s no turning back now. I’m officially over the angst of this number, but I acknowledge that it means I have a long way to go. I know this is the last time I will ever be in the 280s. Sayonara, Adios, Ciao!
Tonight is Fitblog, which I’m hoping will propel me to post my next scary blog afterward. The dreaded before pictures. (O_o)
Tell me:
How do you cope with the numbers on the scale?
What do they mean to you?
Should they mean anything to you?
tune in next time: my "before pictures" and looking forward to the "After"
I'm not sure how to answer those questions, honestly. All I know is, if the number is lower..then I'm awesome. If it's higher? Not so awesome. If it's higher the outcome can go either way..either I feel defeated and decide not to try that day or it motivates me to work harder. If it's lower, I'm always motivated to do better.
ReplyDeleteIt's a neverending battle it seems.
For the time being I think they should mean a lot to me, because I'm trying to lose weight. Maybe one day they won't, but I doubt it.
Thank you for the feedback, April!
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm getting at is this : is it more important to feel healthy or see lower numbers? Sometimes I feel amazing yet the scale shows a raise (maybe muscle gain?) and I feel totally defeated.
Maybe someday we'll both be at a point where we can live with out a scale! I know I'm definitely not there yet!!
Unfortunately, the number means EVERYTHING to me! I always reach goal weight and then "poof!" I gain it all back, or at the very least, most of it! I get comfortable with my weight and then forget that I have to keep working just as hard to maintain it. Not this time! That's why I weight every day (not good or really mentally healthy, but . . .). It keeps me in touch with where I am and where I should be. I've gained about 5 lbs. and that makes me panic that I'm heading into continuous weight gain mode!
ReplyDeleteSo, now, it's time to take a deep breath, keep working out and get my portion size and eats back under control. I've been lax in this area for about a month now. Time to get serious again!
I try just to look at the numbers as a sign of what I need to do. A measure of how I am doing. But some days my emotions rise and fall because of the darn scale.
ReplyDeleteThe numbers are an important way to gauge your progress, but it's completely possible to let them dictate your well-being.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, you felt just fine as you stepped on your new scale. The second it hit ten pounds more than you thought you were, you felt sad and defeated. Your body didn't magically and suddenly gain ten pounds. You were secure(ish) in your body before stepping on the scale. And all of that vanished when you got the read out.
I guess my point is this: you weight 281 the whole time. And you felt okay. Perhaps it had been ten pounds heavier the entire time, so weighing 281 is a good thing?
I don't know. I just started reading your blog, so forgive me if I'm being super intrusive :)
WOW - so many great comments!
ReplyDelete@ Mercade : I'm glad you're taking the reigns and gaining some control! I'm with you, I need to see the number almost everyday. I KNOW that's not healthy, and I'm working hard to just look once a week.
@ Karen : stupid emotions! haha. I saw a scale once that instead of numbers it had all positive sayings listed around the dial. I thought it was brilliant! I would go crazy, but still .. the thought was nice ;)
@ Denise: no need for apologies here! I thank you for your honest feedback. Honestly, your comment is one of the many reasons I keep blogging. It's nice to see yourself through other people's views.
I totally get what you're saying. If I was already "ok" at 280 and just *thinking* it was 270, what's the difference? If I feel good, it shouldn't be about the number! I really hope to get to that point someday.
I always tell myself "when you were 310 you would have KILLED to be 280." It's interesting how our good weight/bad weight views change as the journey continues. Or maybe it's not about weight at all! *whew*
I'm glad to be starting this blog at the beginning of my struggle. I think readers like you will help me gain a ton of perspective! :)
Hi Emily, numbers can be off at different times of the day- so you may want to consider weighing in first thing in the morning, when our weight is often the lowest.
ReplyDeleteAlso- you could try checking your measurements (arms, chest, thigh, waist, hips) I often may not have lost as much as i have wanted in pounds or might have gained; but i often still lost in inches.
Even if you have bad weeks, DON'T GIVE UP! They happen, and that's okay. Don't bang your head up against the wall, you just have to get off of the scale, and keep working hard and keep trying your best!
Hi Emily, I am on weight watchers and weigh myself once a week. Your body weight does fluctuate from day to day and it is best to try hard to only weigh yourself once a week. The most accurate time to weigh yourself is in the morning before you eat or drink anything. Water weighs more than body fat.
ReplyDeleteYou said it yourself that the Wii fit board was not very accurate, so be thankful for an accurate weight now. :)
When I weigh myself each week, I can not lie, it does effect me. But I never let it discourage me. Any loss or even staying the same is better than gaining. But usually if I do gain I know why and know what I need to change during the week ahead. Use the #s as a tool. It's ok to feel something about them but never let them discourage you!!
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! You can also think of the new scale as a new starting point...often different scales will give you different weights. My scale at home is different than the one at my parents house, the one at the gym or at the doctors office. I try to always weight myself on my home scale for my official weigh-ins, and even though I do weigh myself every day or every other day, I only record my weight on Sundays.
Don't let the number discourage you! What you said about killing to me 280 when you were 310 is right on...pretty soon you'll be saying "I would have killed to be 199 when I was 280, and now I am." ;)
Cheers! I just added you to my twitter feed as well.